Course Guide

Managing Stressful Situations

Life is increasingly complex and busy. No-matter whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a corporate executive, there is never enough time in the day to get your work done and to relax. The 24/7 world influences how and where we live and work, and the way that people communicate with and relate to each other. We all have different stressors (e.g. finances, kids, deadlines, relationships, disputes, elderly parents) and we deal with stress in different ways. Stress is typically a reaction to change – change from a routine, from the expected, from that which is in our control.   

When we are expecting a change, or engineering one, there is less stress than when a change is thrust upon us. When this happens we can react badly and become stressed. It’s our reaction to not being in control of the situation that causes us to become stressed. Factors affecting how stressed we may become include personality pre-dispositions, the extreme nature of the life event, work overload and interpersonal conflict.  

Our reaction to stressors can be linked to our basic personality disposition i.e. whether we are Type A or Type B personality. Type A people like an ordered environment and hence become extremely stressed when things go wrong at home or at work. They are described as ambitious, rigidly organised, highly status-conscious, sensitive and caring, truthful, impatient, always trying to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving ‘workaholics’ who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.   

Type B personalities are more relaxed and tend to become not nearly as stressed as Type As. They are described as generally living at a lower stress level and typically work steadily, enjoying achievement but not becoming stressed when they have not achieved. When faced with competition, they do not mind losing and either enjoy the game or back down. They may be creative and enjoy exploring ideas and concepts. They are often reflective, thinking about the outer and inner worlds. People may not be on the extremes i.e. either Type A or Type B, but somewhere in-between on a continuum between the two. Depending on the degree to which someone is mainly Type A or Type B, certain stress management techniques will be more effective than others.  

There are a number of life events which cause a person to become stressed. The death of a child or spouse is obviously the most horrific. Couple this with perhaps the need to move house, find a new school for the kids, possibly move interstate to find work, and the numbers add up. Hence the more traumatic the situation you find yourself in, the more the need to reduce other changes at the same time.  

We all need a certain amount of stress in our life to make us effective. Arousal theories of motivation suggest that people take certain actions to either decrease or increase their levels of arousal. For example, when arousal levels get too low, a person might watch an exciting movie or go for a jog. On the other hand, when arousal levels get too high, a person might look for ways to relax such as meditating or reading a book. People react to stress in different ways. The most instinctual reaction is the fight-or-flight (and freeze) response which is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack or threat to survival.   

Techniques to manage stress 

Effective ways to manage stress and get back to enjoying life and work again are by setting realistic goals, making time for yourself, exercising, being open to the idea of changing jobs, reading books about handling stress, keeping a diary, pursuing an interest outside work, spending time with families and friends, overcoming negative thoughts, getting involved in some community activity, and, most importantly, learning to say ‘No’. In addition, when the goals that people have set for themselves or that others have set for them, are too high or too difficult, or beyond their skillset, or they haven’t access to the proper resources, they can and often do, become stressed. It’s a natural reaction to wanting to do a good job, but not being able to achieve the desired outcome. It’s like hitting your head up against a brick wall, many times! After a while it begins to hurt, and you give up.  

This modified excerpt is taken from the book “Positive Psychology Coaching” by Dr Susanne Knowles which is available from www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com. 

Book Reviews and a Book Trainer are available on www.susanne.knowles.com.